Premiere Consolation Ritual Accompanied by Big Changes
“A good
name for the band would be Bumper Crop,”
Stanley
suggested to his colleagues. He raised a
glass brimming with bourbon to his lips and downed a mighty portion in one
gulp.
“No, no,”
James countered. “It should be Grouch.”
James had already taken a drink of the same bourbon, although not as big
of a gulp as Stanley ’s. Still his throat burned.
“Grouch has
been used already,” Tommy responded for Stanley, who was momentarily unable to
do so. “I’m sure of it,” he added
quickly, noting that James was about to object.
During
Stanley’s subsequent coughing fit the band collectively imagined their first
album as a modern-day retelling of both Black Sabbath’s and Public Image
Limited’s inept histories. A woman
attached to the Annual Spastics and Cripples Parade (a rock ‘n’ roll theater
parody presentation) entered the practice studio and handed each man a
questionnaire.
“What’s
this?” Stanley
gasped.
“It’s just
a questionnaire,” Rhodonda assured the singer, who also served as the band’s
guitarist, though his skills in that latter area left many people, including
his bandmates, longing for the fleet facility of a Steve Zing or a Lita
Ford. “Your answers will be collated and
a selection from all the participants’ will be printed in the parade
guidebook. It’s just for fun,” she added
with a smile.
“Just for
fun,” Tommy repeated, holding up the bottle of bourbon to the light and
estimating the potency of its remaining contents.
“By the
way,” Rhodonda by-the-wayed, “What’s your band called?”
“As of the
moment we’re still the Silly Billies,” said James.
.
