A Parcel Received from the Libellant
The country
in which the following narrative takes place was still at a moment in its
development as a society when the mail was delivered twice a day. Primitive and unnecessary by our enlightened,
up-to-date standards, this arrangement yet allowed persons arriving home to
find valuable packages on the entry table to ask of their servants, “Esmeralda,
did this arrive by the first post?” To
which the servant named Esmeralda would look closely at the particular package
being held aloft by the young master and reply, “Why, no sir, the second.”
The young
master, an avowed hater of television named Arthur Poplin, nodded his
acknowledgement and began tearing open the package there and then. To his anger, but not his surprise, he found
that it contained a severed gibbon penis.
“They did
it again,” Arthur informed his solicitor, Dr. Krumbekak, by means of the
telephone in the parlor.
“Perhaps it
would be best just to apologize and be done with it,” suggested the elderly
attorney, who had served the Poplin family for the extent of his professional
career.
“Perhaps it
would be best if I retained the services of a lawyer who specializes in
litigation,” Arthur snapped, tossing the package and its contents into a
rubbish bin made of an elephant’s foot.
“Now, now,”
Krumbekak urged soothingly, “Try to keep a cool head.”
Arthur took
a deep breath, but the stupidity of the “entertainment news” program he had
spoken so disparagingly of still filled him with the fires of hate.
.
