Easy Brushing the Flowers, Grunts, and Eyes
“This new
product enables you to perform your daily dental duties—“
“‘Daily
dental duties,”’ Heffie Oibur interrupted, repeating Dr. Gingrotto’s
words. “That’s good,” he judged.
The study
of tools and implements from extraterrestrial cultures, designed for the use of
beings whose bodies are extremely dissimilar to our own human ones in called
Xenogeratology. This term has been
criticized by some linguists, who object that it is not wholly Latin in
origin. However, as the term
“dessinophrenic,” used to describe person obsessed with doodling, has been
widely accepted within the macrographic community, we here at the Fank
o’Bengland feel that other, cobbled-together terminology should be
acceptable. After all, even our top
executives now listen to “beat” music and openly long for the days when they
were relatively powerless youths.
It is
speculated that, just as Sean Connery quickly sickened of the role of James
Bond primarily because of the foolish conflation by the public, especially
reporters (they really should have known better), of his own person with the
character, that the Beatles became equally sickened of their roles as “the
Beatles” because they, in fact, were not those caricatures of themselves
presented in films and, yes, on albums.
“Strange
that you should have chosen the Beatles and James Bond as the initial subjects
of your tests,” Oibur commented. “For
those two things represent the United
Kingdom ’s primary contributions to the pop
culture explosion of the 1960’s.”
.
